Your Eyes Are A Drug To Me Panic At The Disco
by BeckyBlackTears
Summary: Rebecca, a girl who not many people like meets a group of four guys and falls for one, a certain Ryan Ross and as friends they go through hell and back to finally realise they spent years hiding from each other the most important feeling of all - love!
1. Chapter 1

Rebecca's POV

I walked through the school gates. Yet another cold, frosty english morning that i been abandoned in by early working parents. The skys its usual damp grey colour. I skidded down the icy driveway and clambered up the school steps. The warmth of the foyer was uplifting. Pulling of my scarf I headed toward the cantine. I got a hot chocolate and sat by the window with it under my red nose. People started to drift in, most of them hanging in clumps under the tree by the gate or risking a frozen bum by sitting on the stone wall. I noticed a couple of new guys come through the iron gates, definatly new, and not used to english weather by the looks of it. I reckoned they're the ones Mr. Wall was on about, the newbies joining our class since 5 girls got expelled for repetedly getting drunk on vodka in the loos. Typical. The usual gang walked into the cantine, obviously intent of finding me. Finally I convinced everyone that under no circumstances was I going outside and they left me in peace for a bit. I suddenly noticed that the newbie lads were sat on the table next to me. Four of them, all with longish brown hair and eyeliner. "Oh yesh" i thought to myself "bought time we had some eyeliner lads in our form" and assessed the talent. The first lad had wide eyes, a broad nose and a pretty appealing smile and an air of kindness and laughter about him. I grinned at the T-shirt that was faintly visible through his school shirt. The lastest MCR tour shirt. I have one myself. He also had a couple of badges on, some of bands i recognised and some old bands i didn't know. The guy sat next to him had a round, calm face and longish hair (for a boy) and was about the same height as the first boy. The thrid guy looked older, maybe the year above or something, with a cheeky grin that i knew all to well - my mates would love him. His hair was so dark brown it was almost black, just like mine. But the last guy really caught my attention. He was quiet and smiling, maybe a bit shy but comfortable with his friends. His soft brown hair had a long almost pointed fringe curving around one side of his face and its was fluffed up at the back. His eye were a smouldering brown, totally soul-seeing type thing. Even when he wasnt laughing or smiling his mouth and a general pleasant upward curve like he found everything special or something to smile about. As well as his eyeliner there was a light dusting of pale blue around his eyes. Him and the first lad seemed full of potential. The bell clanged harshy and I downed my last bitty mouthful and sped off to the top floor, panting as i rushed up the steep steps.

"Hello Class" Mr Wall said. Everyone yelled their own greetings at him and he grinned and settled everyone down. "These guys" he said, indicating to three of the four new lads (the other one must be older) " are our new pupils. They have chosen their D&T options and i know everyone has D&T first. So anyway, This is Brendon" the first lad with the mcr shirt smiled self-consiously but warmly. I nodded at him, heck, no-one else in our sporty, chav riddled class was gonna greet him properly seeing as Sami managed to convince her mum that school starts next week. "This" Mr Wall continued "is Spencer" and the calm looking boy did a little wave and grimaced a Brendon. I nodded at him as well. Seems I'm the only one paying attention. Spencer nodded back and I smiled. Then the handsome guy with his big brown eyes like chocolate drops was brought forward "And this is Ryan. What do you three chaps have first lesson?" Mr Wall gave them the full brightness of his 24-watt smile. Seriously that man can smile, my mum met him before i did and couldn't remember his name and just called him the "teacher with a big grin". I kid you not. "I think we all have Graphics" piped up Spencer after a while. "OK, who has graphics?" i stuck my hand up before anyone else, and not just because i wanted to look after Ryan but because i knew exactly what would happen if someone else babysat them. "Becky would you mind helping these guys out for the first weeks or so?" he glanced at my disrivelled timetable "You seem to be heading in the same direction as this lot most of the time. Plus you and brendon both have a my chem thing, although Brendon you should'nt really wear that top under your shirt, Becky already got told off by Mrs Fury about that." The bell rang and i swept my stuff into my bag. I love my bag, its got "my chemical romance" written on it and has this devil/fairy thing shooting a woman in a wedding dress with arrows and she has a black blind fold on. I got it for christmas. It was the first thing brendon commented on "Awesome bag. My Chem rock." I grinned. "Heck yeah! Nice shirt, I've got the same one at home, from when i went to see them in Sheffield. Best concert ever, even if frank and bob weren't there." We started walking down the stairs. Brendon went wide eyed and nudged Ryan "Me and Ryan were at that one! On the 13th of November right? With MSI and the men being pregnant thing?" We gushed on about the gig, the fire, gigs we had been to in the past and by the time we had gotten to graphics me and Brendon were like old pals. The four of us sat down. Ryan and Spencer seemed quiet but they couldn't really get a word in edge-ways with chatty Brendon!

Maths after graphics. So we had to trudge all the way back up the stairs to the 3rd floor and go to the classroom opposite our form room. "I hate those stairs" Ryan panted to me. It was the first thing he had said to me so far. It made me feel disappointed, I mean, why would he like me at all? But heck thats life for you. I sat next to Brendon and Spencer and Ryan sat infront of us. I leant over to Brendon and whispered "Why doesn't Ryan like me?" Brendon smiled and shook his head, saying how Ryan didn't dislike me, and that he was just mega shy. Oops, I thought, i better tone down the Rebecca Morris brand of insanity. Finally the bell rang and I could stuff my maths rubbish into my bag and out of my sight. I told the guys to follow me and led them outside. "Do you boys want a tour, to be mobbed by my friends or find some quiet place to hide and talk?" I look mostly at Ryan while I said this, i didn't mean to, his chocolate button eyes captivated me and i couldn't focus. "Somewhere quiet definatly" said Spencer and Brendon nodded in agreement and added "So we can get to know each other better" accompanied by that funny eyebrow wiggle guys do. I laughed and pushed him playfully and led them to the sheltered bit between the language block and the Library. Spencer had his ear glued to his mobile, giving the older boy directions to meet them. Brendon went the loo, i showed him were it was and headed back, and Spencer had disappeared to find the other guy so me and Ryan were all alone. "Hey Ryan. Whats Up?" i said looking at the ground i was kicking with my converses. "Just the usual school stuff y'know, you've been here most of the time" he said shyly. "Yeah. sorry, i never know what to say." Ryan looked at me and raised one eyebrow. "Didn't seem that way with you and Brendon. You guys hit it off straight away." I smiled and looked pointedly at my bag. "We are both totally MCR freaks, so i have something in common, something to work on. I can't tell what I'm going to have in common with you apart from eyeliner and converses." Ryan smiled and nodded. "Well tell me what you like then?" i said."Errrrrr, i like music and writing my own lyrics. I'm learning to play the guitar and i like Blink 182 and Linkin Park and i think what My Chem is doing is awesome. I like the dancey stuff as well as the rock stuff." He grinned, not smiled, grinned and i couldn't help grinning."I love the song "I miss you" and "all the small things" by Blink 182." I said, then Brendon crashed through the doors and fell over, making us both laugh like idiots. Brendon got up in embarresed silence with a smile on his face. I collapsed onto the cold low stone wall by us and laughed some more. Brendon plonk himself down right next to me and started telling jokes. Spencer arrived with this older guy. Jon, his name turned out to be. Totally cool guy as well, its like all the cool came in the car that dropped these guys off.

"So where are you guys from?" I asked. It's a week after I met ryan and everyone and I couldn't believe i hadn't asked that yet. I looked and directed the question towards ryan, talking to him is the perfect excuse to look into his big chocy biccy eyes. "Las Vegas baby!" he repiled in a total showbiz, american voice. I grinned and curled my hair over my Ipod headphones a little more. "What are you listening to Bec?" Ryan says. He is sitting by me today, usually its brendon I sit by but hey, I'm not complaining! "My Chem currently but I've got all sorts. Linkin Park, Amy Winehouse, loads. Wanna use the other headphone?" Ryan nods and sticks the other one in his ear. I scribble down some of the spanish words on the board in my book and nudge Ryan and point at the board. One of the words looks like a swear word. Ryan cracks up laughing. Man I love that laugh. Then i decide to change the song. I flick through all songs and choose the perfect song. Then the bell goes. I grab the headphones off Ryan and hide my Ipod. Stuffing my junk into my bag i stand up, almost falling over in the process. Ryan lunges forward and catches me. "Thanks" i say, turning red. Brendon and Spencer hurl past us yelling something about the library and "See ya later!" I lean against the wall and Ryan stands beside me. "Hey Bec, you should listen to this." I put his phone to my ear and a bad recording of a cool sounding song comes out. "Hey, that sounds good, the recordings rubbish though. Who is it?" Ryan grins and says he'll tell me after school. "What the?" i go, rolling my eyes at him. Then with bone crunching speed he changes the subject. "Wanna come down my house after school? The others are coming round as well so thought we could all hang out." I grin. I'm being invited to Ryans house! I want to do some girly scream but i surpress it and just nod and say "Sure"

Me, Bren and Ryan and stood by the school gates, waiting for Spencer and Jon. Brendon keeps nudging ryan and whispering. I finally catch him saying "Did you ask her...?" "Ask me what?" i cut him off. The pair of them went bright red. "To come round my place, course. And yes brendon I asked her round. "I could'nt figure out why they were red but heck, i don't understand guys. Who does? Sometimes I think even they don't quite know! Spencer comes running up to us and yells "Seens Jon? I can't find him!" I grab my phone and call him. "Dude, its becky. Where are you? Me, Ry, Brendon and Spence are at the front gate waiting for you!" "I'm at the other gate!" Jon groans down the phone, the reciever making it sound all crackly and weird. "Ok, dufus. Coming!" Rallying the guys I speed off towards the bottom gate. Finally we find him and set off, everyone else going by memory and me following Ry like a little sheep. "Hey Bec?" Ry says to me as he is opening the door to his house. "What did you call me when you were talking to Jon on your mobile?" the door clicks and opens and we all step inside. "I called you Ry." I say, looking around. Family snapshots in little frames are on a wood chest and i can see a 10 year old Ry running after a dog on a beach somewhere sunny. I smile. "Why do you shorten it to Ry? Not that i don't like it, just wondering cause no-one else has ever done that before." i smile again - those chocolate drop eyes have got me again! "In my head its RyRo as in Ryan Ross because i know lots of Ryans. None of them are quite like you though." i say as silkily as i dare to around the others - which isn't that silkily really. I think Ry noticed but didn't take it into account, which to be honest is probabily a good thing. After all he doesn't like me back. Momental lapse of common sense. "Guys, meet me in the garage. Brendon make sure Bec doesn't get lost or something" Ry says and disappears upstairs. "The Garage? Classy." I say. Spence takes me by the arm and steers me to the garage. The walls have carpet lining them and thick, heavy red velvet curtains hang on the windows. Marshall amps are stacked along one wall. "Hey, I know what this is! Its a practise and recording room!" i say to Jon. "Yup." nods Jon. Ry comes back in with an electric guitar and a guitar in a case. He nods and Brendon says "We are a band. Me, Ryan, Spencer and Jon. Ryan plays electric guitar, Spencer plays drums, Jon plays Base Guitar and I play guitar." "And you sing!" laughs Jon as Brendon gives an embarressed smile and goes quietly red. I begin to put two and two together and turn to Ry. "So that song from earlier...?" "Is by us. Panic At The Disco we call ourselves." My jaw totally hits the floor. "OMG. That is such an awesome name! You need some better recording stuff though man. Maybe I can steal my dads high tech stuff?" Ry grins and turns to the guys. "Told you she would be amazing and helpful!" The warm brown of his eyes are almost rippling with colour like the chocolate river in Willy Wonka. Wow. I feel on a total high and I haven't even done anything! Then Ry hands me the other case and I just stare at him. "Ry, why are you giving me a guitar? I only play Bass and you have a Bassist." but im seriously flattered. They all fall over laughing. "What?" "No, It is a bass, You said you wanted lessons so..." Ry goes and starts a little drum roll. "I'm gonna teach ya!" Jon explodes. "Seriously?! Guys thanks so much! That would be so mega cool. Although I must warn you, I suck."

"Do you have a fave song by us then?" Ry asked me, catching me in the end of the day rush with those delisious eyes of his. "The one we were trying to name the other day." "We have a name for it now. "Build God Then We'll Talk" its from a book Brendon read." "Cool name! Am i coming around your place for a jamming session? I gotta show off the fact that i can now play "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes." Ry laughs and nods. So we all meet up at the bottom gate this time and Jon manages to come to the right gate. Thank god for that!

Ryans P.O.V.

Me and the guys met up with Bec at the bottom gate ready for another "jamming session" as she put it. I love how she phrases everything. Bec came running out pulling a brush through her hair and going "OMG i look like some kind of demented bat has got tangled in my hair and messed up my makeup!" but she looked really amazing as usual. The swimming she had to do last lesson ment her hair was soaked and the water made it look black instead of glittering brown. I can't believe that she hides under all that hyperactivity, i mean, she obviously doesn't have the confidence she pretends to have but i reckon she is accepting herself. I think Bec is the only good-looking girl in this whole school that doesn't go around walking with her chest stuck out! And she doesn't overdo her makeup like some of the girls. Anyways we walked back to my place. Bec goes "Ry?" in this kind of sad, worried sounding voice. I almost smile, her nickname for me is so cool, but of course i start worrying about her because of the tone of her voice. "Whats the matter Bec?" she sniffed in a im-trying-not-to-cry way and i put one arm around her. I thought she was going to pull away but she didn't. "Do you honestly think I'm ugly?" Bec looked up at me, her beautiful grey-blue eyes shining with tears. "Bec of course I don't! I think you're really pretty! What gave you the impression that i think you're ugly?" Suddenly some girl ran past and yelled spitefully "Told you Rebecca! He said he thinks you're ugly!" and ran away again. I was shocked! Who runs up to someone and yells at them using part of someones conversation in some twisted way against them? "Thats what." Bec said, looking at the floor. "Michelle started having ago, first about Marcus, then started saying shit about how you guys only wanted to be with me either for sex, because it got spread around that i lost my virginity to Marcus, even though i haven't even lost it yet, and she said that you wanted me for my dad's music equiptment to sort out your band and that you said I was ugly behind my back." Tears fell from her eyes freely now, we were outside my house. Brendon saw Bec crying and came running over. I think he has a thing over Becky as well as me but he hasn't said anything to me. I wouldn't blame her if she chose Brendon over me. After all Brendon is a drop dead gorgeous guy and he is really charming and flirty with her. I'm no good at wowing girls with honeyed words. Instead of going out to the garage we headed up to my room and sat Becky down on the bed. I sat one side of her and Brendon plonked himself onto her otherside.

"Look, Becky, you know we all love you and nothing is going to change that! Just because that michelle girl says stuff doesnt make it true! She is a ugly little cow. Now, i don't flirt with just anyone but I'm always flirting with you - don't you think thats saying something?" Brendon said, taking one of her hands in his. I felt a pang of jealousy but heck, the room was crackling with the chemestry between the pair of them and i think its what she needs right now. The she looked at me and saw me looking at her and smiled a little and rested her head on my shoulder. I couldn't believe it!

Brendons POV

Becky slowly stopped crying, but i kept on holding one of her hands. Ryan is so lucky, Becky's resting her head on his shoulder. I know he likes her because he admitted it to us but won't let us help him out with her. The problem is i like her too. Not as much as Ryan does though. Plus its really obvious that Becky really likes Ryan back, she has always looked into his eyes alot and really enjoys his presence. I'm not going to make a move on her, Ryan really likes her and he needs someone to have a relationshp with right now, though he won't admit it. He never admits how deep his feelings are for anyone. But like i said, I'm not going to get in the way because Ryan needs this. I finally let go of Becky's hand and look at Ryan, trying to tell him to go for it but he either did'nt feel ready or did'nt get my message. "Thanks guys, you have no idea how much your support mean to me. And thank you for never judging me. Thank you so much." Becky sighed and went off to the bathroom to clean herself up. I immediatly looked up at Ryan. "Ryan, she likes you." Jon said. Ryan's eyes hit the floor and he shook his head.

"No she doesn't. She likes Brendon, i mean, she let him hold her hand!" he was looking at me, and even though he wasn't trying to make me feel guilty still did. "Ryan, I was the one that moved to hold her hand. She rested her head on your shoulder because she wanted to. Can't you see that she likes you too? Or are you just not going to let yourself believe it? If i didn't think she liked you back i would have told you Ryan. Trust me." He nodded, but obviously didn't really take it in. Becky walked back in and hugged Ryan, and thanked him again. And THEN she thanked the rest of us - minus the hugs. How obvious does it have to be before he realises it?

Ryans P.O.V.

Brendon kept saying about how Becky likes me. Why can't he just understand that i know that she doesn't? Why would Becky, the most amazing person I have ever met and is so beautiful as well, want to be with me, a guy whos only has four friends including her and can't even do my homework without loads of mistakes. She so smart and so tough. I've seen people having a go at her and it just doesn't get through to her. "Brendon, shut up with this already!" I snap. I grab my guitar and head to the garage. Music is always my escape. I'll make up some lyrics and put some guitar to it. It always seems to help me chill out and vent my feelings. I sat down in the center of the garage floor and began brain storming my ideas. Then i created a new look on it. I start scribbling furiously and started a new song.

_Watch your mouth_

_Your speech is slurred enough_

_That you might swallow your tongue_

_You want to give up the Ghost With a little more poise than that_

_Or was it God who chokes in these situations_

_Running late oh no_

_He called in, He called in_

Brendon walked in and sat down beside me. "Ryan, I'm not trying to go on, but you have to see how much she wants to be with you! Open your eyes!" I sighed and shook my head. "Brendon why are you trying to help me? You like her too, its plain to see." He looked sadly at me and blushed a little. "Yes I like her, but not nearly as much as you do. I'm not making a move on her, she is all yours. Can't you see that when you look into her eyes? Haven't you noticed the way she always looks at you when she is talking to all of us?" he looked desperae to prove to me all this. "Brendon do you remeber that first day we came to the school here?" Brendon looked at me sadly for appearing to change the subject. "Yes. Why?"

"When we sat down, I noticed her straight away, even with that big crowd of people around her. She has so many friends. But anyway, she looked over at our table when they left and she looked straight at you and smiled. I was the last one she looked at." I thought I was going to cry. God I'm so pathetic! Then, with impeccible timing, Becky walked in. "God Ryan whats the matter!" she ran over and wrapped me in her arms. Then I burst into tears to my horror. "Becky, just go, I don't want you to see me like this" she shushed me and pressed her finger to my lips.

"Just cry whatever this is out, just cry." She kept holding me tight and swaying slightly. If i wasn't crying so much i would be smiling. "What is the matter Ry?" I looked up into her eyes and saw that she was crying too. "I don't want to tell you Becky, ok?!" suddenly I felt so angry, not at Becky, but at myself and I was taking it out on Bec! Brendon gave me a that-was-uncalled-for look and I held tighter onto Bec before she walked away "No, I'm sorry Bec, I didn't mean to snap. I'm just not having a good life lately ok?" She sighs and hugged me again then kissed me quickly on the cheek. "Same for me Ry. Want to talk about it?" Brendon knew I wouldn't want to and knew that I didn't want to upset Bec by not talking it over with her but how could I?

"Becky, its ok, don't trouble yourself with it. He has already talked it over with me and the guys. He just needs a hug." Bec sighed and kept on hugging me.

"If you do want to talk about it Ry, just tell me. But as long as your venting it somehow, its all good." I could feel her softly stroking my hair. How many times had i day-dreamed this? It's just the timing, just as I'm trying to forget about her she is hugging me and holding me close. Now I'm never going to be able to forget about her. Which makes the pain worse. Fresh tears fell down my cheeks and Bec gently wiped them away. "Thanks Bec. I'm ok now. I'll see you guys all tomorrow."

Rebecca's P.O.V.

Ry turned away as me and Brendon walked out. I saw a piece of paper ont he floor and picked it up. Ry's handwriting. "Hold up" i said to Brendon as we shut the door behind us." I want to read this."

_Watch your mouth_

_Your speech is slurred enough_

_That you might swallow your tongue_

_You want to give up the Ghost With a little more poise than that_

Or was it God who chokes in these situations

_Running late oh no_

_He called in, He called in_

"Thats amazing! But, what do the lyrics mean?" Brendon had a look and went wide eyed.

"I know, but Ryan will kill me if you knew. Put it back Bec." He looked pointly at the garage as we kept on walking. "Brendon let me figure it out first, please." I read the lyrics through again.

"Wait, giving up? Whats he giving up on? This is about how Ryan is feeling! Brendon, whats going on?" Brendons eyes gluded themsleves to the floor and he didn't respond."Watch your mouth... he doesn't want to say something, he's nervous about saying something and he wants to give up on something... running late.. too late maybe? I... think i kinda understand it." I put it down on the table as we walk past it and think about the lyrics, now I had memorised them.

Brendon and I parted ways and I sat on my bed with a piece of paper, dephifering the lyrics like i did with "Famous Last Words" by MCR.

_Watch your mouth_

He doesn't want to say something

_Your speech is slurred enough_

He can't make it come out right

_That you might swallow your tongue_

He feels nervous about something

_You want to give up the Ghost With a little more poise than that_

He wants to give up on it

_Or was it God who chokes in these situations_

Maybe he blames God or Fate for whatever it is?

_Running late oh no_

being to late to change it?

_He called in, He called in_

He is'nt late?

All this is making my head ache. I'll have to ask him about it at school. No I can't, he'd never trust me again. I look back at the piece of paper. Nervous about saying somehting to someone that fate chose? He likes someone! I feel tears come to my eyes. Ry's found someone to love. Now i have no chance. Warm, salty dripps slice down my cheeks. I know he doesn't like me, but I always had hope. Well i guess it just wasn't ment to be.

The next day I stood outside the school gates waiting for the guys. Some dude i recognise from one of my lessons came ad started talking to me. "Hi." he said shyly. He had thick black hair and lovely eyes; big, blue and full of life. "Hi" i said back and he smiled. "You ok? I'm not used to seeing you on your own, Rebecca." He was quite handsome actually. "Yeah, I'm fine, just waiting for the guys. And it seems you have an advantage over me." He looked puzzled. "You know my name and I don't know yours."

"Oh!" he said and smiled again. "I'm Matt."

Brendons P.O.V.

When we walked toward the gate we saw Becky with some guy we didn't know. I saw Ryan tense up a little. They were both smiling and chatting away. "Becky!" Jon yelled and she turned round, looked straight at Ryan and immediatly looked both guilty and sad. "Heya guys." she kept her eyes averted from Ryan then. Now i am confused! If she figured out the meaning of that song - which I reckon she has with her intellegence - why hasn't she asked to talk to Ryan alone and finally hook the pair of them up? Why won't she look him in the eye? I'm going to have to talk to her about this.

"Becky, come here." I said and she came over. "You like Ryan don't you?" she went bright red and check that no one was around. "Don't tell him, please! I think he likes someone else."

I groaned "What the hell gave you that idea?" she muttered something and walked off.

WEEKS LATER

Ryans P.O.V.

I wonder why Becky has distanced herself from us. It's killing me. I heard she going out with some guy called Matt too. Great. Why couldn't I be wrong about her not liking me? I trudged to Maths. At least that Matt guy is'nt in that class. But Becky is. And speaking of her, there she is. She looks so happy, smiling and waving to people, her eyes bright. I sit myself down on my own, at the back as always. Becky walks past the table and looks at me, almost longingly? Then she smiles and sits down. My jaw drops. "Becky, why are you sitting by me?" she looked me in the eyes and under all her happiness i could just see a spark of sadness, of regret, of whatever you want to call it. She sighs. "I miss you. And the guys. I'm so sorry I've been neglecting you. It's just, i needed to sort alot of things out, and homework mounting up." she muttered something.

"What was that last bit?" She smiled sadly and shook her head. Then she took out a piece of paper, faded and old. "What does it say?" she handed me the paper and looked away as i read it.

_Watch your mouth_

He doesn't want to say something

_Your speech is slurred enough_

He can't make it come out right

_That you might swallow your tongue_

He feels nervous about something

_You want to give up the Ghost With a little more poise than that_

He wants to give up on it

_Or was it God who chokes in these situations_

Maybe he blames God or Fate for whatever it is?

_Running late oh no_

being to late to change it?

_He called in, He called in_

He is'nt late?

"These are my lyrics! What is this Bec?" her eyes glistened with tears.

"I'll talk at break time ok?" and she slipped away.

Rebecca P.O.V.

I met up with Ryan and the guys again for the first time since... forever. Ry looked pointedly at the paper and said "Explain" and Brendon stepped in

"Wait Ryan, I'm involved in this too. Becky found the original piece of paper with those lyrics on that day that you had a bad day and so did Becky. She was worried about you and memorised them and obviously.."

"Deciphered them. I was worried about you Ry, and these told me you liked someone so i thought it was best that I left you alone so that you could chase after whoever it is. Then i met Matt but thats all coming to an end and..." she sighed.

"Whats going on with this Matt thing then?" Spencer said, his eyebrow furrowed.

"He's using me. And I can't be with him because, well, I never loved him. He was a escape. I did find him attractive but never really loved him. The problem is I love someone else that I'm never going to be able to have." I burst into tears and familiar arms closed around me and finally I felt like myself again. I sat by Ry in the next class, like old times, plugged into my Ipod, discussing music. Then he took the headphones out of our ears and looked at me seriously. "What was Matt using you for?" I sighed and looked at the floor, feeling dirty.

"Sex. I...I lost it to him." I started crying and the teacher asked me if i was ok, everyone started making a fuss. "Sir, can I take her out and let her cry?" Ry asked. He's so brave and level-headed. He took me by the arm gently and guided me out of the class room. Ry looked at me, handed me a tissue and embraced me in a hug. I clung onto him, desperatly needed an embrace that actually meant something, even if it only was friendship to him. "I know how you feel. I love someone who I know doesn't like me back. It's ok. Don't worry about it anymore. I'll stand beside you always. And so will the guys." I hugged him tight, apologising again and again for how i acted towards him, towards them all. Then the bell rang out.

All the guys crowded around me and I felt like my old-self again. Ry invited me around for a jamming session and Jon said we could take up where we left off with my Bass lessons and he was delighted that I'd kept practising for 30 mins minimum everyday like he told me too. Then just as i felt happy Matt walked around the corner. I cowered behind Brendon and Matt turned my way and started walking towards me. The guys stood around me defensively. Ry walked up to Matt scowling. "Dude, move so I can talk to my girlfriend." Matt said low and threataningly.

"I'm not your girlfriend anymore Matt!" I walked up to Ry's side and he slide slightly infront of me.

"Go Matt. You touch her and you will find yourself in a painful position." Ry didn't speak loudly but you could tell he ment every single word. I shivered in a good way at how protective he was being over me. Matt narrowed his eyes nastily in a way I knew all to well from when I tried to stop him doing something he wanted to do. He jumped and Ry but i flew into the way and knocked Matt to the floor, punching him in the face and the arms. I stood up and kicke dhim har din the side and said "You come anywhere near Ryan again and that will look like a nats bite compared to what I'll do to you." Ry, shocked at my reaction but still being strong and supportive added

"And if you come near Becky, I'll be helping her permanently put you in hospital." He ran.

Ryan P.O.V.

I can't believe Becky did that to that guy. No, thats not right, what i can't believe is that she did that to protect me. Maybe Brendon was right. Maybe. But I can tell she isn't going to want to be with someone right now. Not after that guy. She sat down on the stone wall just staring at her hands. "He deserved it. He did, he did, he did!" I sat down beside her hugged her. Brendon came and sat down beside me, Spencer sat of Bec's otherside and so did Jon. "Bec, don't you dare feel bad for him. Not after what he did to you." Tears flowed from her eyes and she looked up at me. "You don't understand. I...We... he is the father of my child."

"Child?!" said Brendon. I looked into her eyes in disbelief. Her eyes were full of pain, confusion and I could tell she feels dirty and used. "I'll look after you Bec. Whatever happens I'll be here."

"We'll be here" said Spencer. I hugged Bec, being careful of he stomach and everyonelse carefully hugged her.

We went with Becky to a meeting her parents sent her to. Her mum was really good about it. I promised to come with her. "Bec, I know Matt isn't here for you but I'll stay by you. And the baby if you choose to keep it." She sighed and shook her head.

"I'm having an abortion Ry. I'm not bringing a child into the world that i can't give a good life to. And i want to go out and live my life. Live out my dreams before I have children and I want to have children with someone I actually love." I nodded and hugged her. "You are so responsible Bec. I'm proud of you."

Brendon, Spencer and Jon all went "We all are" at exactly the same time and we all laughed.

"When are you going to have it done?" said Spencer quietly when we stopped laughing.

"Sunday." Bec sighed sadly. We all told her how we would come with her. She smiled weakly at me and I rest my hand on her slumped, sad shoulder.

Okies guys, that was the start to my first ever fan fic, please review e.l.c. More coming soon! Love BBT


	2. Chapter 2

Rebecca's P.O.V.

I sat in the abortion place waiting room. It smelt all medical and sterilized. I hate the smell of hospitals. Ry, Brendon, Jon and Spencer sat on the hard plastic chairs around me. Ryan held my hand. The nurse came forward and called my name. I got up shakily and the guys followed me through to the next room. "Right. Rebecca, we are going to give you a tablet that will take away the foetus. First we need to make sure your all cleaned up then we will give it to you and make sure you don't pick up any infections ok?" the nurse told me. I nodded. Ryan took my hand and squeezed it gently. I squeezed it back and hugged everyone before a got led into another room. I got given some anti-infection medicene then i swallowed the tablet. "Think about something other than the tablet. Your little posse outside or something." said another younger nurse. I thought about Ry. About him holding my hand, squeezing my hand and saying how he would stand by me. Why couldn't he have been the father? I wouldn't be sat here now. I feel my stomach kick as it tries to reject the tablet but the nurse gives me an injection to stop it. I sipped water slowly and let my thought wander back to Ry. That smile of his. I feel better jus thinking about it. Then a gushing feeling, like when my period starts, and its all over. The Baby is gone. Matt isn't in me anymore. He never has to know what he has caused. The nurse hands me a towel and lets me clean myself up. Gives me some disifected stuff and some iodine and lets me sort myself out. Then i suddenly felt all the energy drain out of me. The nurse lead me to a bed and i settled down and fell asleep almost immediatly.

Ryan's P.O.V.

We paced the waitig room until the nurse came and told is it was done. "Where is Becky then?" asked Brendon. The nurse smiled. "She's asleep. Follow me." she led us to a white room with a bed in the middle. She walked away and we went inside. And on the bed lay Bec, sleeping soundly. What a beautiful sight. If only i could wake up every morning to see that. I sat down on the bed by her and stroked her face gently. "Ryan, she needs you. Can't you see how much she wishes it was you she lost it to instead of Matt?" Brendon said. I was shocked that he could talk like this at a time like this! "Brendon! A) No she doesn't wish that! And B) How can you talk like that at a time like this?!" Becky stirred and i turned and lowered myself so she could see me when she woke up and we could reassure her. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at me. I smiled back. She sat up and i wrapped my arms around her carefully. "Ry, do you think I did the right thing?" I held her hand and squeezed it gently and smiled.

"Of course you did Bec! We are so proud of you."

We all walked to my house aferwards. We were going to take Bec home but she wanted to rock out at my house. Bec sighed and linked one arm in mine and one arm in Jon's. Brendon linked with my other arm and Spencer linked with Jon. Bec started laughing and tripped. I caught her and she went bright red. "Thanks Ry." she giggled and we broke the chain as I went to unlock the door. I pour Bec a drink and hand it to her as everyone walks through the kitchen and out to the garage. "Thanks Ry" she smiled. I love her smile! "Hey, guys I wrote some more of that song that song. Listen"

_The hospice is_

_a relaxing weekend getaway where your a cut above all the rest_

_Sick and sad patients on first name basis_

_With all the top physicians_

_Prescribed Pills_

_to offset the shakes, to offset the pills_

_You know you should take it a day at a time_

_And thats when you_

_Stutter something profound_

_To the support on the line_

_And with the way you've been talking_

_Every word takes you a step closer to hell_

_No i just can't help it_

_To say what everyonelse is thinking_

_Let me state the obvious_

_Again_

"Wow Ryan that so amazing! You want me to sing that? Awesome!" Brendon gushed, grinning. I smiled back and looked at Becky. She was smiling thoughtfully and reading the lyrics over and over again. I took it off her and put it in my folder of lyrics before she could decipher it. Bec smiled and picked up her Bass. Beautiful thing, her bass. Black and slightly sparkly, with a silky neck and really light. And she picke dout a really cool strap, a blue and white crime scene tape style one. Bec sat down with a tuner and began sorting it out. She looked so beautiful, her eyes closed and her head tilted toward the guitar. She opened her eyes and checked the tuner, altered each string slightly and told Jon she was ready. As he ran to get his Bass Bec started playing "Seven Nation Army" and singing the lyrics, her eyes closed again. "Wow Becky" said Brendon

"You should have a band and be the singer" Her eyes opened quickly and she stopped singing and playing and went red. "No, I'm not a good singer. I just want to play Bass. Thats all. I mean, if i was forced into it i guess I would do it and if everything went well then maybe I'd sing and play Bass, but I'm not in a band." Jon came back in and sat opposite Bec and they started practising.

Brendons P.O.V.

Becky has such an amazing voice! I can't believe that I found out her little hidden talent just after a group of my friends told me they are looking for a singer. And I know that their Bassist is leaving the band. I'm going to have to get Becky to audition or record her singing and let them have a listen. She deserves to be able to use music the way Ryan does. "Becky! Come here, I need to talk to you!" i say, after practise. She hugs Ryan goodbye and runs up to me.

"Yeah Brendon? What is it?" I tell her about this Band and what a coincodence it is.

"No! I'll try out as a Bass, but not as a singer." I look at her pleadingly.

"Becky you should use your talents! Come back to my place and I'll call them, talk to them and if you like them, meet up with them and try! Please Becky! You deserve this." I can see in her eyes that she is going to say no. "OK I'll come round and talk to them. But if I'm still unsure then I'm not singing. Ok?" I grin and nod furisouly.

I open the door to my house, Becky in tow. "Mom I'm home!" I can smell homecooking and cakes. I love that about my mom, always cooking something delisious for supper. "I'm in the kitchen Brendy Bear!" Becky burst out laughing and my Mom walks into the hall, seeing Becky in stitches with laughter. "Mom! I've got a friend of mine and the guys over. We going upstairs to my room ok?" My mom nods and scolds me for not warning her before calling my that awful nickname.

Rebecca's P.O.V.

"Brendy Bear!" i laugh as me and brendon climg his stairs. He's gone bright red and is smiling in an embarressed way. "Don't worry about it, I'll tell you s secret. My parents have a horrible nickname for me as well. Boo Booze" I cringe as he laughs and we laugh at each others nick names. "Ok ok, we have ha dour laugh now, serious time." says Brendon to me and grabs the phone and starts dialling. "Jamie? Yeah its Brendon. Get on MSN I have a potential Bass player for you. And she might even sing for you if you're nice enough. OK? Yeah, talk in a second."

Brendon smiled at me and turned on his computer. Soon him and this Jamie person where on a video call using their webcams and mics. I waved and Brendon Introduced me. "Hey Jamie, this is Becky. She's been playing bass for ages now and Jon has been teaching her extra stuff. And you should hear this girl sing Jamie! what a voice!"

"Shut up Brendon" I say, slowly going red. "Hey Jamie. I do play bass guitar but just forget the whole singing bit for now."

"Come On Becky, play some bass on cam for me then?" Jamie says, smiling encouragingly. I roll my eyes and plug my bass into my amp, which had been a pain to drag up the stairs. I started playing "Seven Nation Army" because its my favorite bass line. A pentatonic scale. Brendon started singing the words and i laughed and couldn't help joining in. Then he stopped, but I didn't notice ad i kept on playing and singing. "Wow!" said Jamie, wide-eyed over the cam. "When can we meet up?" I laugh, feeling giddy. I hugged Brendon and he and Jamie did the organising for me. I hugged Brendon again, thanking him. Then I headed home.

Ryan's P.O.V.

"Hey" said Becky when I opened the door the next day. It's a saturday so I didn't expect to see her! "Hey Bec what are you doing here?" she smiled happilly and tutted.

"You sound like you don't want me to come around and tell you good news!" I lifted one eyebrow and led her inside and up to my room. "So, what is the good news?"

"First, let me tell you that Brendon has hooked me up with a group of his mate slooking for a Bass and a Singer. So, I felt that i wanted to repay him. Then all of the times that you guys helped me through alot of things kind of came togeter in my mind. So I got that recording we did of Build God Then We'll Talk and I sent it to Pete Wenz. Him and Fall Out Boy have a record label with Taking Back Sunday. It's called DecayDance/Fueled By Raymen. Anyway I sent the recording to him. He wants to come and meet you guys and listen to you play!" she exploded

I grinned, hardly able to take in such amazing news! "Pete Wenz wants to come and see us!?"

"Yeah!" Bec grinned and handed me her mobile. "Wanna tell the guys?"

"You haven't told them? You told me first? Wow!" I can't believe she told me first! And in person. I hug her tight and kiss her cheek quickly, jus tlike she did so long ago when I started writing that song.

Brendon's P.O.V.

"I can't believe that Pete Wenz is coming to see us!" I said to Jon on the morning of the day that Pete was coming over. We all sat in the garage, excited and nervous about playing to such a celebrity! Becky's sittig by Ryan, holding his hand and squeezing it gently. At first I thought they had finally got together, but then I saw how nervous Ryan looked. And these two still think that the other doesn't like them, despite all the signs? I sigh and there is a bang at the door and fan girl screams. "Pete's here!" says Spencer and Becky runs to the door, Ryan in tow. We all followed to the door. Becky nudged Ryan to the door and he opened it. Pete Wenz and a group of bodyguards walked through the door. "Wow, Pete it is such an honour to meet you! We are all such huge fans of Fall Out Boy!" I gushed. Pete thanked me and turned to Becky.

"Are you Becky? The one who I was talking to and sent me the recording?" Pete asked.

"Yup. Cool to see you in the flesh. Hows Patrick and everyone?" Becky said cooly

"There all good. So introductions please?" Pete said, motioing to all of us.

"Of course! This is Ryan, the guitarist. This is Brendon, the singer. This is Jon, the Bassist and this is Spencer, the drummer." Pete shook our hands as Becky went around. Ryan lead Pete into the garage and Pete chatted to him about playing guitar. I can't believe how friendly he is! Then we all settled down, Becky checked that all the amps and Jons bass were working and sat down by Pete. Spencer started the durm beat and Jon followed. Ryan started the guitar and Then i started singing.

_It's these substandard motels on the_

_(la la la la la)_

_corner of fourth and freemont street_

_Appealing only cause there just that unappealing_

_Any practised Catholic would cross themselves upon entering_

_The rooms have a hit of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldahyde_

_And the habit of decomsosing right before your very_

_la la la la_

_eyes_

_Along with the people inside_

_What a wonderful caricature of intamacy_

Rebecca's P.O.V.

Brendon finished singing my favorite song to Pete. The whole time Ry was watching me. I think it's because he couldn't look at Pete because he's so shy. I couldn't stop watching him either. Brendon looked like he was enjoying himself and Pete was cheering at the end. I kept on mouthing the words along with it too. It's just so catchy! "Guys that was amazing! And I thought that recording was brilliant!" Pete said. Ryan blushed, Brendon beamed, Jon grinned and Spencer thanked Pete. Then Pete pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Brendon.

"I want to sign you guys to my record!"

When everything was done and Pete had left after exchanging phone numbers with all of us I hugged Ryan tight. "I could see how nervous you were Ry. Well Done." and he smiled. I still can't get enough of that smile!


	3. Chapter 3

Ryan's P.O.V.

A couple of weeks later Pete called me during lunchtime. I moved away from the others and answered. "Hey Pete."

"Hey Ryan. Look, how many songs have you got pieced together? I've got a recording studio ready to take you guys in for a month to polish up your songs and record them. It's in america but I'll pay to fly you and the guys over. Hows that sound?" My jaw dropped.

"Loads of songs.. thanks so much Pete.. I'll call you after school to finalise everything...thank you!" I grinned and ran to the others and told them the news. Brendon grinned and hugged everyone, and so did Becky. Becky - that means I'll be away from her for a whole month! All my happiness fell through the floor and i looked at Becky. "Whats the matter Ry? Aren't you happy about all this?"

"I am, its just, we will be away from you for a whole month" Becky realised this and looked at the floor. "Well we don't know when we are going so how about we enjoy the time we have together and have a party at that new club in town the night before we go?" Brendon said and Becky smiled. "Oh yeah, bring on the alcohol!" said Jon and we all burst out laughing. But I still felt terrible deep down.

Everything was finalised within the week. We only had a week left. Everyone at school now knew about it and people who had hated on us and Becky now wanted to be our friends. Becky just brushed all the fakers off and ignored them. But with her friends she told them all about it with the help of us guys. And as much as I can't wait to record our album, I don't want to be away from Becky but Pete said he couldn't pay for her as well as she wasn't in the band. Her and Brendons friends hit it off and she was finally the singer and bassist. The band was called Critical Indifference. I've heard one song by them that Becky wrote, called Walk Alone. It's really good! I want our band to take off just so that we can help hers.

The final night came and when i woke up I could feel dried tears on my cheeks. Part of me doesn't want to go but I really do want to go. I know I am going to go but it doesn't stop it hurting. In the evening Jon and Spencerturned up and then Brendon did. "Becky says she might be a tiny bit late. She couldn't find her straighteners." Brendon told me, rolling his eyes. We sat in the front room and finally the bell rang and from outside I heard Becky yell "See you tomorrow Mum!"

I opened the door and in stepped Becky, but not as I've ever seen her before. She wore a white blose with billowy sleeves and ruffled on the front. Then a black milk maid skirt started from under her chest and ran half-way down her thighs. She wore black tights and knee high, lace up, high-heeled boots. Her hair was straighted completely and looked black. Her eyes looked blue-grey and she had black eye-shadow and eyeliner framing them perfectly. "Wow Becky, you look fantastic!" She blushed and looked down and her hair fell over her sholders and she flicked it back, untangling it from her black and white dangley earrings. I shut the door behind her and she walked in, smelling of perfume. The guys stood up. "Becky you look amazing!" said Brendon.

"Yeah!" said Spencer and Jon nodded. All of us were wide-eyed! She blushed again and told us to just go to the club. "Ok ok! Mom!" My mom came downstairs and started fussing over Becky as well. "Who knew there was such a little star inside you!" Mom chuckled and led us into the car. I sat in the front and becky sat on Brendons lap, blushing furiously, simply because there wasn't enough seats. Brendon didn't seem to enjoy it as much as he would have last year. I hope that means he doesn't like her anymore? Because everyday my feelings toward her get stronger.

We pulled up at the club and I helped Becky out. She smiled warmyl at me and I grinned back. Everyone got out and we went inside. "House Of Wolves" by My Chemical Romance was on. Becky and Brendon looked at each other and went "Oh Yeah!" and headed out towards the middle of the dance floor. I grinned and rolled my eyes. Me, jon and Spencer headed over to the bar. Jon, being older than us, bought us all drinks. Carling for him, a shot of vodka for Spencer who would drink that and not drink again for the rest of the night, more Carling for Brendon, red wine for me and white wine for Becky. The song finished and Brendon and Becky came to the table we all settled at, red in the face and laughing. We passed around the drinks and me and Becky chinked glasses elegantly and she sat by me. "Ry, you know I'm going to make you dance with me don't you?" she smiled then laughed at the look on my face. "Oh come on Ry! It will be fun!" I sighed and nodded reluctantly and sipped my wine. Becky sipped her wine, decided she liked it and drank it a little faster. When she finished a Blink 182 song came on and she dragged me to the dance floor. Becky swayed in front of me, laughing and telling me to relax. She put her hand on my shoulder and I started dancing to the music, singing along to the song. She was right, this is fun! The song ended and we headed back to the table. Everyone sat and talked and laughed for a while, and drank some more. Becky had another two glasses and drank Spencers second shot that he didn't want but Jon had bought him anyway. It was already midnight and my mom was coming to pick us all up at one, and then us guys would sleep in my room and Becky would have the guest room. We all went to the dance floor and boogied till we could hardly stand. The lights kept on flashing and Brendon danced with some girl none of us knew. Then, at one we trudged outside to wait for my mom. Becky stumbled drunkedly and I caught her quickly.

"My hero" she said, smiled, her words slurred slightly by the alcohol. My mom pulled up and everyone tumbled into the car. Becky seemed to hammered to care about sitting on Brendons lap, but Brendon wasn't happy. I suppose a girl you don't fancy anymore, drunkness making he rprone to do stupid things she doesn't mean, sat on your lap isn't exactly thrilling. I wish it was me though.

Mom left us to sort ourselves out when we got back home. I helped Becky up the stairs and she clung onto my arm tightly and as we got to the top she wrapper her arms around me and kissed me on the lips. I just looked at her while she kissed me, to shocked to kiss back. She opened her eyes and saw my face. Bec pulled herslef away and began crying "God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean... oh god!" and Bec ran down the stairs. I ran after her, wanting to tell her its fine, I feel the same way but she disappeared out the door.

I woke up and started crying as the previous night came back into my head. The drink made her kiss me, and the fact she didn't like me made her pull away. I pack my last things and head to the airport. Brendon patted me on the shoulder, thats about as close as us guys get to huggin each other in public unless something is really really wrong. As in, life threating or something like that. I know that the guys knew exactly what was running through my head. I suppose they just don't have the enegry to deny it like they normally would. Or maybe they are shocked as well.

Brendons P.O.V.

The recording place is amazing! Really high tech. Becky would love it. I don't know quite what happened the other nice with her though. She got really drunk and Ryan was so shocked by her kiss that he didn't respond to it. I suppose he spent so long denying her feelings that it just didn't register. Ryan still seems to think she doesn't like him though! "She was pissed and didn't know what she ws doing. Can we plese not talk about it?" So I've hd to leve him to it. I walked down the corridor and what I found was shocking. A girl I didn't know, snogging Ryan! And even more shocking, he was kissing back! I grabbed Ryan by the arm and dragged him away. "What the hell do you think you're doing! You love Becky and you are betraying her!" I yelled.

"No I'm not! She doesn't want me so I'm trying to forget her!"

"By basically cheting on the girl tht truely loves you and who you love back but are to blind to see and by using some girl?" I say, quietly, despertly. Ryan sighs and tears slice down his cheeks and he nods. "OK, your right, I shouldn't use that girl. I'm sorry Brendon" he walked away.

Ryan's P.O.V.

I wrote more lyrics to that song fter the fiasco with the girl who works at the recording studio.

_I am alone in this bed, house and hell_

_And she never fixes this but at least she_

_I am lone in this bed_

_She never fixes this but t least she_

_makes me forget_

Says it all really. I hand the completed lyrics to Brendon and the others and we build the song. Then we ll head over to the recording room and recorded it. Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks. I like it and writing it has certainly helped me vent some of my feelings I suppose. Only one week has gone by. I can't wait to just get back and sort it out between me and Becky.

ONE MONTH LATER

Me and the guys climb off the plane and Brendon whips out his phone. I don't know who he is calling but he's aranging something. We all grab our stuff and wait. A taxi pulls up and the next thing I know I'm being hugged. I step backwards and see a tearful Bec stood infront of me.

"I'm so sorry about all this Ry! I didn't mean to kiss you. I'm sorry!"

"It's ok! I forgive you." I cringe inside at the fact that I didn't have the guts to tell Bec how I felt but I'm pretty relieved as well of course. I hug her tight and we climb into the taxi and head to my house.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Brendon's P.O.V.

We go on tour soon. And we have a birthday surprise for Bec. Her band, Critical Indiffence are going to be our support. Our Singles have had such an amazing responce that pete wanted to start our touring. It's Becky's Birthday so I go and pick her up in my car. "Happy Birthday!" I cheer as she opens the door and hustle her into the car. We drive to Ryans house.

Ryan's P.O.V.

Brendon and Becky arrive and we shower her in "Happy Birthdays!" and hugs. Jon runs and gets the cake which is done to look like her bass guitar. "Oh my god guys!" she squeales and blows out the candles. Spencer hands her a big knife and she cuts us all slices of the cake. Its all choclatey and bits of melted chocolate dribbles everywhere. I spent hours making the cake for her, with little silvery sprinkles on it and black icing, chocolate cake mix and loads of different chocolate drops which melted when I baked it all. "Who made this!?" Bec exclaims after biting and eating some of her slice. Brendon pointed at me and I looked down, bright red. "You bake Ry?" I nod, still red and Brendon is pointing at my face and giggling like a maniac. That makes me smile. "Well, Mr. Ross, a man that can bake is very shexy indeed" Bec says, patting me on the head and wolfing down the rest of her slice. I go totally beetroot and eat my slice.


	4. Chapter 4

Ryan's P.O.V.

"We have one more surprise for you Bec." I tell her, and make her close her beautiful eyes then I pull out our tour poster. It says "Panic At The Disco Tour! with support band Critical Indifference" Bec opens her eyes when I tell her to, reads the poster and flings her arms around me. "Oh my god guys! Thank you! This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me!" and much more of the same to everyone again and again. I grin at her happiness and I grin because I'm pleased with myself. I spent weeks dreading leaving Bec and I'm glad I found a way round it! Then Bec grinned. "Actually I have a surprise for you guys as well!" We all looked at her expectantly as she got something out of her bag. Then she made us close our eyes. I kept peeking and Bec spotted me. "Keep those eyes closed Ry!" She came over and drifted her fingers over my eyelids to make me close them. I kept them closed, holding onto that moment till i got a prod in the shoulder. "Open your eyes!" I did and looked at what Bec had put in my hands. It was a CD. The front cover had one half in perfect daylight and the other half in a troubled night. On the day half one half of a heart filled with rose petals hovered above crystal blue waters and on the night side the other half of the broken heart hovered above blackened water, bleeding into it, only this time the heart was filled with thorns. At the top the album was titled "The Two Halves Of The Heart" and when I looked at the bottom I grinned. The band is Critical Indifference. I grin at Bec and hug her as Brendon says "Congratuations!" Jon asked who signed them and Bec grinned again. "The fabulos Pete Wenz! I'm on DecayDance as well! Well, the band are." I laughed and ruffled her hair. Then I opened the album and looked at a list of ten songs, all with long, tongue twister titles! And on the inside Bec and the guys from the band had signed it,

_To Ry(an),_

_Hope you love our songs! Lots of love, Bec_

_Don't break this! from Jamie_

_Good luck with PATD, hope this kills tour bus time! Ben_

_Have fun with all the guys from Kath_

All the others had signed CD's as well, with their own comments from the band. I showed everyone how mine was signed, and Bec laughed at Jamie's comment. I read what the others got and I noticed that I was the only one that got "lots of love" from Bec. That made me smile.

When the others went to go home I asked Bec if i could stay a little longer, She smiled warmly and said "Of course you can Ry!" I grinned and followed her to her room. And, even though I didn't mean to I noticed how tight her trousers are and how damn good that bum of hers looked. I grinned again, telling myself off in my head. We went in her room and she kicked stuff from the middle of her floor to the outskirts and turned on some music. It was our album. "Bec! You didn't have to go out and buy it! You should have asked!" she giggled.

"How could I resist buying it when I walked past HMV? It looks so awesome!" I grinned.

"Who designed your front cover?" Bec blushed bright red and shook her head vigorously. I laughed. "It was you! Its so cool! What an awesome concept!" I took out "A fever You Can't Sweat Out" and put in "Two Halves Of The Heart" The first song came on, called "Speak all the words you like I can't hear plastic lies"

_spread all the rumours_

_confess my every secret_

_Bitter game of chinese whispers_

_You better be ready for one fuck of a fight_

_Go and blab it all_

_I've learn't to shut it out_

_You think a handful of words can make me fall_

_Man, your in for a show tonight_

_Paint a picture, pretty as can be_

_But its just a web of lies_

_No matter what everyone else believes_

_Me Me Me_

_Pour lies from your tripping tongue_

_Tumble when they collapse_

_Trust me it wont last long_

_Even plasic minds know when somethings off_

_Oil from the blackest of hearts_

_in the form of ill words_

_All the bitches know their parts_

_Ready to act out a false "true" stories_

and Becky sang along to the last line "I am what I am!" I could see her hands twitching as if she was playing along with her bass guitar and I grinned at her, knowing the feeling. "I have another present for you" once again I made her close her eyes.

Rebecca's P.O.V.

I put a poster tube into her hands and tapped her shoulder so that she would open her eyes. Bec took the poster out of the tube and unrolled it and gasped. It was a poster of both Panic At the Disco and Critical Indifference with photos of somke of our bands members with some of Ryan's band mates photoshopped together elegantly with black and silver swirls on the corners. I looked closely at the photos. Jamie and Brendon sat next to each other, playing their guitars and laughing, Ben and Spencer in a fake sword fight with their drumsticks, Kath and Jon throwing plectrums at each other and almost in the middle, Ry helping me out of his mums car on that party night. Wow! The photo was angled so that you couldn't tell I had been on brendon's lap. The other PATD members where in the car and the Ry in the picture was smiling warmly at the Me in the picture. His mum must have taken the snapshot. And in each picture the Panic member in the pic had signed it in a convient empty space. It looked amazing! And in the same curling font that was on their album, Ry had typed "Panic At The Disco & Critical Indifference"

I wrapped my ams and his waist, hugging him tightly and tell him how damn amazing it is, and how awesome the tour is going to be.


	5. Chapter 5

Ryan's P.O.V.

"We have one more surprise for you Bec." I tell her, and make her close her beautiful eyes then I pull out our tour poster. It says "Panic At The Disco Tour! with support band Critical Indifference" Bec opens her eyes when I tell her to, reads the poster and flings her arms around me. "Oh my god guys! Thank you! This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me!" and much more of the same to everyone again and again. I grin at her happiness and I grin because I'm pleased with myself. I spent weeks dreading leaving Bec and I'm glad I found a way round it! Then Bec grinned. "Actually I have a surprise for you guys as well!" We all looked at her expectantly as she got something out of her bag. Then she made us close our eyes. I kept peeking and Bec spotted me. "Keep those eyes closed Ry!" She came over and drifted her fingers over my eyelids to make me close them. I kept them closed, holding onto that moment till i got a prod in the shoulder. "Open your eyes!" I did and looked at what Bec had put in my hands. It was a CD. The front cover had one half in perfect daylight and the other half in a troubled night. On the day half one half of a heart filled with rose petals hovered above crystal blue waters and on the night side the other half of the broken heart hovered above blackened water, bleeding into it, only this time the heart was filled with thorns. At the top the album was titled "The Two Halves Of The Heart" and when I looked at the bottom I grinned. The band is Critical Indifference. I grin at Bec and hug her as Brendon says "Congratuations!" Jon asked who signed them and Bec grinned again. "The fabulos Pete Wenz! I'm on DecayDance as well! Well, the band are." I laughed and ruffled her hair. Then I opened the album and looked at a list of ten songs, all with long, tongue twister titles! And on the inside Bec and the guys from the band had signed it,

_To Ry(an),_

_Hope you love our songs! Lots of love, Bec_

_Don't break this! from Jamie_

_Good luck with PATD, hope this kills tour bus time! Ben_

_Have fun with all the guys from Kath_

All the others had signed CD's as well, with their own comments from the band. I showed everyone how mine was signed, and Bec laughed at Jamie's comment. I read what the others got and I noticed that I was the only one that got "lots of love" from Bec. That made me smile.

When the others went to go home I asked Bec if i could stay a little longer, She smiled warmly and said "Of course you can Ry!" I grinned and followed her to her room. And, even though I didn't mean to I noticed how tight her trousers are and how damn good that bum of hers looked. I grinned again, telling myself off in my head. We went in her room and she kicked stuff from the middle of her floor to the outskirts and turned on some music. It was our album. "Bec! You didn't have to go out and buy it! You should have asked!" she giggled.

"How could I resist buying it when I walked past HMV? It looks so awesome!" I grinned.

"Who designed your front cover?" Bec blushed bright red and shook her head vigorously. I laughed. "It was you! Its so cool! What an awesome concept!" I took out "A fever You Can't Sweat Out" and put in "Two Halves Of The Heart" The first song came on, called "Speak all the words you like I can't hear plastic lies"

_spread all the rumours_

_confess my every secret_

_Bitter game of chinese whispers_

_You better be ready for one fuck of a fight_

_Go and blab it all_

_I've learn't to shut it out_

_You think a handful of words can make me fall_

_Man, your in for a show tonight_

_Paint a picture, pretty as can be_

_But its just a web of lies_

_No matter what everyone else believes_

_Me Me Me_

_Pour lies from your tripping tongue_

_Tumble when they collapse_

_Trust me it wont last long_

_Even plasic minds know when somethings off_

_Oil from the blackest of hearts_

_in the form of ill words_

_All the bitches know their parts_

_Ready to act out a false "true" stories_

and Becky sang along to the last line "I am what I am!" I could see her hands twitching as if she was playing along with her bass guitar and I grinned at her, knowing the feeling. "I have another present for you" once again I made her close her eyes. I put a poster tube into her hands and tapped her shoulder so that she would open her eyes. Bec took the poster out of the tube and unrolled it and gasped.

Rebecca's P.O.V.

It was a poster of both Panic At the Disco and Critical Indifference with photos of some of our bands members with some of Ryan's band mates photoshopped together elegantly with black and silver swirls on the corners. I looked closely at the photos. Jamie and Brendon sat next to each other, playing their guitars and laughing, Ben and Spencer in a fake sword fight with their drumsticks, Kath and Jon throwing plectrums at each other and almost in the middle, Ry helping me out of his mums car on that party night. Wow! The photo was angled so that you couldn't tell I had been on brendon's lap. The other PATD members where in the car and the Ry in the picture was smiling warmly at the Me in the picture. His mum must have taken the snapshot. And in each picture the Panic member in the pic had signed it in a convient empty space. It looked amazing! And in the same curling font that was on their album, Ry had typed "Panic At The Disco & Critical Indifference"

I wrapped my ams and his waist, hugging him tightly and tell him how damn amazing it is, and how awesome the tour is going to be.


	6. Chapter 6

Rebecca's P.O.V.

I heard the whole audience gasp and I'm sure a few girls dreams got broken that night! I could hardly believe this was happening. Ryan, the handsomest, sweetest person I had ever met wanted to be more than friends. This was more than I had ever dared to hope. His eyes searched mine, such beautiful eyes! "I thought you'd never want me! Of course I will!" I finally said and hugged him tight. The crowd cheered and clapped and whooped. Then a chant started through the crowd. Quietly at first but then it grew to a creshendo(sp?) that I could actually hear. "KISS HER! KISS HER!" Ry grinned at me. His eyes had never been so alive before, chocolate swirling inside them and fire dancing in them. He put his hand on the bottom of my back and pulled me cloer to him then rested one hand on the side of my face. "Can I?" he whispered into my ear. I smiled and put one of my hands on his face.

"Like I'm going to say no!" I whispered back. He smiled that gorgeous smile of his and put his other hand and my other cheek so that he's holding my face and looking straight into my eyes. I wear he can see right down to my soul when he looks me in the eyes. Then his lips are on mine. I rest my hands on the back of his head, pulling him into the kiss. God his lips are so soft. I can faintly hear the crowd cheering again and can feel something soft falling on us from above. Ryan softly pulls away and I already miss his lips on mine. Then I look at whats falling on us. Red and white roses! I laugh and I can see Ry laughing at Brendon. "Your doing? Because it certainly wasn't my idea!" Brendon blushes then winks at me and whips out his phone. "PICTURES!" he screams and suddenly people in the audience are flashing their phones at us as well and Jon pushes us together. I kiss Ry again, smiling while I kiss. His tongue flicks against my lips and I pull away gently, then peck him gently on the lips. "Backstage, later" I whisper and slink offstage. Afterall, the audience came to see Brendon and Ryan snog, not me and ryan!

Ryan's P.O.V.

I was on a high through the gig then, how could I not be! Thank god I know my guitar parts so well that my fingers auto-piloted while I kept going over the kiss, her saying yes, everything in my head, almost as if I was making sure that it had all really happened. Kissing Becky was so much better than any of the fantasys I'd had about kissing her. And the way she whispered "Backstage. Later" into my ear still made my ear tingle from her breath. I came back to earth just in time to yell "wedding!" after brendon called out "Shotgun!" in "Time To Dance" And then we went offstage. I could hear people at the front talking about what had happened with me and Bec. And I saw some downtrodden scene/emo boy with a sign saying "I LOVE BECKY!!" walk away with his mates, then bump into a Becky look-a-like and he smiled. Thats two happy hearts made tonight, i thought to myself. Heck, thats four happy hearts made tonight! I skipped away into the dressing room and cleaned myself up. Bec knocked on the door when I had my ruffled shirt half undone but I just wanted to see her again, to make sure that what had just happened wasn't a damn realistic fantasy! She came in and smiled. "I can't believe you just did that! In front of all those people!" we laughed and I blushed.

"I wanted to do something so amazing that you just couldn't say no. I guess it was a bit of an ego-risk but Becky, you're worth it. And I've never felt so alive in all my life! And you're to blame for that!" we laughed again and it was Bec's turn to blush.

"I still can't believe you like me." she whispered to me. I rolled my eyes.

"You and your pessimisum!" Then I put my hands around her waist and pull her toward me and kiss her gently on the lips.She kissed back and I flicked my tongue against her lips. She smiled and parted her soft lips slowly and I explored her mouth, kissing her with the best I knew. I tried to put the love I couldn't put in the right amount of fantastic words into an action and soon all I could think about her lips and how cute she looked with her eyes closed. Then our lips parted and I smiled at her. "Can you believe it now?" I said and Bec laughed. She snuggled into my arms for a while. Brendon popped his head around the door and told us that we had to leave and go back to the hotel. We linked arms and went outside. One of the fans must have called the press because the place was crawling with photographers and jornalist. The only questions we stopped to answer were "Are You now Dating?" - "YES!" and "Have you slept with each other yet?" - "NO!" and then we ran for the bus, giggling like school kids.

We got to the hotel and Bec kisses me on the lips innocently then went to the bathroom to get changed. I went to try and open the door but she had locked it and yelled "Oi!" when she saw the door handle move. I laughed and went to get changed. Normally I sleep in my boxers but considering Bec might possibly let me share a bed with her I put on some blue PJ bottoms on as well. Then she walked in. Old print PJs, silk and pale cream with black flowers on them. A black ribbion tied into a blow just below her bust and strappy, showering her shoulders and the base of her neck. She looks beautiful. I walk toward her and pull her close and kiss her neck softly and I can feel her melt against me. Her Pjs are soft to the touch and she smells of perfume and chocolate. I'm just hanging onto every little detail about her! I kiss up from her neck and past her jawline and onto those gorgeous lips. I broke away and smiled and took her hand and walked over to the bed. I sat down and she sat next to be and we kissed again. I tickled her suddenly and we fell onto the bed, laughing and tickling each other. Her hair flew everywhere and we lay down, breathless and bursting randomly into giggles. But when I went to get under the covers of her bed she pushed me away. "Ry, if I share a bed with you you'll expect things that I'm not ready to do with you yet, as much as I Love you." She kisses me with a flare of passion and I kiss her on the forehead once she is snuggled into bed. "It's fine babe. Goodnight. Love you."

"Love you too, Ry."

Rebecca's P.O.V.

I wake up in the morning as see Ry sat on the edge of my bed watching me. His beautiful honey eyes glow in the pink and yellow glow of dawn and all the sad feelings that I've seen rebounding in his eyes have gone and I only see the fires of laughter dancing in them. I smile and so does he, the her kisses me softly. For once I don't mind having to get up in a morning! I sigh as he rests his forehead against mine and looks deeply into my eyes. Help me, I'm drowing in those gorgeous eyes. He smiles, his lips spreading across his handsome face. He toyed with the strapss on my nightie top but didn't try anything. I smiled then leaned slowly over to him and whipsered huskily into his ear "we need to get ready to get into the tourbus silly" and giggled. Ry rolled his eyes in that exessively adorable way of his. I slipped off to the bathroom with my eyeliner and black skinny's and of course a mcr shirt. Ry walked in wearing exactly the same outfit as me and we burst out laughing. Then he flicked his hand around my waist and pulled me towards him, searing our lips with a hot kiss that left us both breathless. Like a true gentleman he asked if he could carry my suitcases so I gave him the lightest one and giggled. "Wouldn't want to strain you darling" and tossed my crap into the bus. Finally I lounged on the little sofa thing in the bus while Mike drove us along, the bumping didn't bother me. I've always loved travelling. I gazed out of the window, the sun shining and dogs roaming happily, golden brow cornfields and so many things that brought back memories. Rolling in our neighbours fields with my best friend, Charlotte, chasing sheep and laughing all the time. I never really cared for the people in my school so I got bullied alot but I always lived for those moments where I could run into the woods by the little pool and jump in or fly of the tree swing and crash down with a splash and five dogs. I smiled and felt someone wrap their arsm around me. I turned and saw Ry just watching me. He lay down ontop of me and kissed me softly. I smiled warmly and lay looking out of the window again, curing the corners of my mouth upwards slightly. I could see Ry watching me and I was so glad for the love shining in his eyes. "Ready to face todays interview?" he asked, one eyebrow raised and I groaned. "Mood killer. And yes, I think I am."


End file.
